I can't exactly remember when I started to have a crush on Ricky. Let me take you back to my last year of high school.
We were assigned topics to do research on World History. Ricky was doing his presentation in front of the class when my seatmate Espie said to me, "Cat, look at Ricky. He looks like (Mahatma) Gandhi." I didn't really agree with her. Well, Ricky did have a wide forehead, but he was way cuter than Gandhi. I found myself staring at him, though. That was when I started to notice him, especially the way his big brown eyes sparkled when he smiled. It was a time when classmates were starting to court and date. And there I was, young and naive, waiting for love to find me. So I focused my sights on Ricky.
Outside the Garcia High building were benches where students used to stay in between classes. Sometimes we would just chat or study together for upcoming exams. Ricky hung out with the girls. I sat next to him as he twisted and turned his Rubik's cube until he had solved the puzzle. He would do it over and over again. I held his Rubik's cube whenever he wiped his sweaty palms. He was smart and good-looking. I just so admired him. As the days went by, my feelings for him grew stronger. How I longed for him to notice me, too, but I couldn't tell him that I liked him. After all, I was a conservative Filipina girl. So I would I look straight into his bright eyes when he talked to me, hoping to get the message across. I think it made him uneasy at times.
Then I did something stupid right before graduation. I can't recall if Nina suggested that I give Ricky a record of "When I'm Gone." Remember that song? I don't blame Nina because I could have chosen not to do it, but I did. I went out and bought that stupid record and gave it to him. When I got home, I was like, "Oh no, what have I done?"
Graduation dance came. Ricky was there. I couldn't look him in the eyes when he asked me to dance with him. I was so embarrassed. I don't think we talked at all when we were dancing, but I did remember him say, "Cat, you have a very tiny waist." I smiled shyly. I waited for him to ask me out on a date. He didn't. I was crushed. I never heard from him again.
Well, it has been over two decades. And yes, I did get over him. Love did find me not too long after high school graduation.
Revised November 19, 2003
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