When my oldest son, Reggie, started junior high, I was flooded with memories of my days in Carlos P. Garcia High School, Philippines. I have never seen most of my classmates since we graduated in 1982 and I have always wondered what happened to them.
I took my school book/graduation programme out, leafed through the old pages carefully touching the tattered edges, browsed the pictures, and tried to read the fading signatures. I felt nostalgic and decided to write them.
With 20-year old addresses and maiden names on those envelopes, I didn't expect much. But I wasn't discouraged when Reggie said, "That's impossible, Mommy!"
If there's a will, there's a way, I thought.
I couldn’t contain my excitement when I got the first response -- a two-page e-mail from Annie Magdael-Limense -- which I printed and read over and over again. She was surprised to hear from me and to learn that I am married with three children. She thought that I would have become a nun because I was very shy back then. She is also married, has two children and is an Executive Assistant in the Intramuros Administration. I was impressed with her job title at a famous landmark in the Philippines.
I learned that she is closely in touch with three other girl classmates and they are godparents of each other’s children. I wrote Annie that I envy them because I never had that kind of grounding when I was younger. My parents separated when I was 12 and we were always moving, making new friends and then leaving them.
I received e-mails from the three other girls as well.
Josephine, who was a tomboy, married our classmate Alan, who I thought was interested in another girl in school. Jo is the Entertainment Editor of one of the Philippine leading newspapers. Wow, I thought! She followed her dreams. She used to write in our school paper.
I heard from Nenita as well. She’s also married with three kids. She’s the Culture and Arts Officer of the Cultural Center of the Philippines, another major national landmark.
Then there’s Rose, who’s still single. She wrote me from Australia. She was a successful Certified Public Accountant in the Philippines before she migrated. She was studying to be an accredited CPA in Australia, too. I felt a pinch in my heart. I was also a CPA but I wasn’t able to pursue that career since I moved to Canada and started a family early in my life.
For a little while I wondered, if I had not gone abroad would I have been successful in that career? If I had started a family later, would I have pursued my studies and perhaps become a Certified General Accountant here in Canada? On the other hand, Rose longs to be married and to have her own family. I then realized that I have a comfortable life with my husband and we have these three wonderful children. I wouldn’t trade them for anything. I shouldn’t fret about the things that I don’t have, rather I should be thankful for my blessings.
Class of ’82 held its 20th reunion shortly after I contacted the four girls. I wanted so much to attend but I couldn’t leave my family and work just like that on such short notice. Besides, I didn’t have money saved for a costly trip.
They e-mailed me details of the reunion, which they enjoyed inspite of poor attendance. They told me how some of our classmates had turned out. I was delighted to hear what they are doing now. I waited with anticipation for pictures. When I started receiving them, I was overwhelmed with emotions. I spent days staring at the pictures trying to match names to faces. Some have grown and matured in ways that I didn’t expect, although some are easily recognizable as they haven’t changed much at all.
A few more wrote me, eager to know what happened to the rest of our classmates. Since I’ve gathered quite a few information from the e-mails and enough pictures, both old and recent, I decided to set up a website, hoping that the others will find us through the internet. I subscribed to homestead.com. This website host has easy-to-use building tools and easy-to-follow instructions. I worked on the website on my spare time.
I received good feedback when I forwarded them the website address. They were surprised that the shy girl from high school, the reluctant leader, has the initiative in doing something like this. They were touched that I still remembered them after all these years. They were also grateful to me for making our high school memories alive. Because of the website, more classmates resurfaced and were able to contact each other.
Laarni reminisced, “You were the demure classmate whose voice shivered when reciting in her seat or singing at the front of the class.”
Carolyn recalled, “You were the shy girl who seldom talked and never smiled.”
I was overcome with mixed emotions. I was excited to hear from them and glad that they still remember me. I was also sad that that’s how they remember me.
I was haunted by childhood memories. I had serious problems at home. My father was an alcoholic and he abused my mother when he was drunk. I loved my father dearly despite his faults. He has long been gone, yet I found myself weeping. I never talked about it with anyone before. But somehow, I found the courage to share my story with some of my “reunited” friends. Writing about it helped me heal the wounds of the past.
My high school website has been up for four years and the number of classmates who have contacted us keeps on growing. We correspond regularly and share with each other not only memories of high school, but also the challenges that we face now. We confided each other’s disappointments, laughed at the follies of our youth and regretted the mistakes of the past.
I have attended several schools but I had the most memorable experiences and treasured friends in Garcia High. And yet I didn’t contact them for a long time. Something happened in high school that made me pull away from them.
I already started my junior year when I transferred to Garcia High. I didn’t expect that I would excel my classmates. All I wanted was to blend in the background but instead I was sent to School Division contests and was asked to lead school projects. I studied hard to meet expectations and to make my parents proud. My teachers and classmates thought that I would be declared valedictorian. I did, too. I was disappointed and embarrassed when I didn’t even make the honor roll. I was disqualified due to residency requirements. But I got over that quickly. Instead of wallowing in self-pity, I looked at the great experience I had and the many friends I made. I haven’t made a lot of friends in the other schools that I attended. I was painfully shy when I was younger. But I was able to come out of my shell at Garcia High.
All these years I have wondered what my classmates thought about me not making the honor roll. Did they feel sorry for me? Did they think that I didn’t deserve it anyway? I now realize that they didn’t care about that at all. School is not just about academics. It’s about the relationships and connections we make as friends.
In reconnecting with my classmates, I learned more about them and in the process also learned more about myself.
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